My Lolo, a.k.a Papa and Grandpa
My Lolo, a.k.a. Papa, my grandfather 3:27pmI will ramble because I can’t be quite poetic right now. I just know that I am at a loss. I feel awful because I didn’t go back to the Philippines to visit my grandparents. It’s been over 8 years. My Lolo won’t get to meet Kevin now nor will he get to meet any future offspring.
My heart aches and I feel completely drained. My Lolo died Saturday. My mom got the dreaded call from my ate that he died suddenly. He was healthy, worked on the farm, and only had high blood pressure. We don’t know if he died of a heart attack, a stroke, or a combination of the two. We just know that he dropped dead and he was bleeding from his nose. My grandparents live on a farm, in the mountains, in a provence away from the city. It took too long to take him to the hospital in the ambulance and according to my uncle he was already cold. Furthermore, his fingers were turning black when the ambulance arrived. They didn’t tell my Lola that he was dead until late Sunday because she was having asthma attacks. Everyone wanted to get her to the hospital to get breathing treatments before they broke the news to her. Everyone is afraid she will die from grief. She is 64 and my Lolo was 68. She has been married to him since she was 16 years old. I can’t imagine not having the love your life around anymore. I just can’t take it.
My grandfather was a jack of all trades, a pillar of the community, a caring, generous, loving, selfless, and beautiful human being. My family is poor in the Philippines. They live on a farm where they grow fruits and vegetables. They often don’t have enough money for a sack of rice or fish. Meat is rarely eaten and is reserved for special ocassions. Even when my Lolo didn’t have enough they would invite strangers into their home and share a meal. On another note, he was also the town holistic healer. He knew what plants to use to help people when they were sick. He even took some leaves and crushed them, made them into a tea, and gave them to my sister, Tina and I when were sick the last time we visited them. Furthermore, my grandfather was one of the wise elders that people turned to for advice and to help mediate conflicts. In addition, he taught my mother to cook when she was 8. Plus, he was intelligent and resourceful; in his youth he worked for the local geothermal plant. In addition, he treated everyone with dignity and gave unconditional love. When my Lola was mad at her estranged mother he always supported my Lola in her frustration. He always was the voice of reason. He knew how to walk the line of paying respect to my great grandmother who was never a good mother and how to placate my Lola. Also, he was a great musician. My mom told us stories that even though they didn’t have electricity growing up he would gather my mom and brothers around a play the guitar and sing. He entertained them and brought the family together. Lastly, my Lolo was the one that loved his only daughter with such immense love and loved his granddaughters just as much. My grandmother along with all the women in our family are very fierce and passionate (some times to a fault) but my Lolo was able to keep up with all of us and be the calming element in our lives.
I think I get my best qualities from grandfather. We didn’t grow up with him as he lived on the other side of the world. However, he influenced my mom greatly. I get my sense of respect for nature from him; my love of cooking from him; my sense of community service from him; my passion for music from him; my altruism from his example, and I hope I can pass this on to our child someday. I hope that my grandma doesn’t follow him soon. I want her to be around to meet Kevin. I want her to be around for my sisters and I to introduce her to her great grandchildren. I am worried about my mother’s health as she travels as she is recovering from her surgeries. I am worried about people (relatives and strangers) taking advantage of this situation while my parents visit as they will only see “rich” Americans, and I am worried that we will get another call that we won’t have any grandparents left.
Life is so precious and so short. I don’t want to wait much longer for anything. I want my parents to be energetic and healthy enough to play with their grandkid. I know I was pessimistic earlier in the month about the future but I cannot let negativity get the best of me. Afterall, everyone knows that I am the type of person to embrace life and I need to carry on my Lolo’s legacy.
